The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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