My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Randomize