I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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