my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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