if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
