He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
