is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
