that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
