Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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