My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
