how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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