I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize