So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
