sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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