I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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