im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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