did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
