Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
