I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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