Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
