Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
