I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
