The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize