I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize