fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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