It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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