im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
