Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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