He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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