Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
