so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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