He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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