im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
