Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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