Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
