I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
