how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
