Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
