just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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