We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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