I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
