apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
