$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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