I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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