I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have tasted many bathrooms
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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