the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize