just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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