; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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