Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
