just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
