My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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