its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
