the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
