But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
