So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
