physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
