i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
