Got a toothbrush?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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