so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
