Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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