You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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